We've decided to accept the position in the IDEP. That means we'll spend the first year in Pocatello, ID and the following 3 years in Omaha, NE. We have longed for 3 years to have the opportunity to make that decision and all the others that go along with it, and looking at it now, that was probably the least difficult decision we will face.
The next step.... I don't really know. There isn't a handbook or reference guide to tell me. No one has made a PowerPoint or put together a mini lecture or course explaining where I go from here. I know that many people enter professional schools, often with spouses and sometimes with children. And I can only assume that they've been faced with all the questions I have and eventually figured it all out an forged their own path.
It wont be pleasant if I have to do it that way too. I don't know if my poor brain can handle it. It feels pretty trashed right now, and I KNOW it won't get any better after #3 arrives in a couple months.
I have a goal to have everything organized for the next year before she comes, but somehow I'm sure I'll not reach it. Not for lack of my trying to accomplish it, but because of the need for others to help me, and their help probably wont be on MY timeline.
My high expectations probably add more stress to my life than necessary.
But the lack of guidance on how to navigate the ocean of decisions I feel surrounded by is the greatest stress of all. I have no advisor to tell me what to do next, to help me stay on the right track to finish on time. Doing things out of order or not having the prerequisite knowledge will only frustrate things.
There are many people I could speak with that have either been though these same waters, or something similar. But they have all done it differently and sometimes have conflicting advice.
I want to follow the most successful plan of attack for these decisions I'm facing. I want to learn NOW what it would take years of research for someone to compile.
It's unreasonable to expect. I know... I know.
No one laid out for me what to study in school. It wasn't laid out for me who to date or marry. There has certainly been no specific path to follow as I raise my children. And I know it's unreasonable to expect that there is an organized sequence for me to follow as I make adult decisions in my future.
But I so badly want it to be!