Blake's Best Bits

The scene: Blake trying to get food, that is stuck on his palate, off with his finger.

Blake: "HEY!" (with surprised eyes)

Me: "What?"

Blake: "I can feel my brain."

Facebook Status Updates

I find it easier to post small updates to my facebook. But I always feel like my posterity and other family members that don't use facebook, would also want them posted here. So I'm going to try to copy/paste them here when I remember. (sometimes I will add more than the small post allowed on facebook if the story needs more elaboration)

Here's two updates from recently.

"10 AM at the Van Tassell's house: Gwen wants her binky, Blake wants a drink, Cody wants ice cream, I want a nap. Congrats Cody... your outrageous request is granted, sorry everyone else."

"Blake's looking through a booklet that disney sends me when they want me to order more movies. He inhales sharply then whispers "Dr. Doofenshmirtz." I don't know if I should feel proud that he has a great memory and can say such a long weird word, or disappointed in myself for letting them watch so much TV. (FYI - that's the evil guy on the Disney Channel "Phineas and Ferb" cartoon)"

Cute Stuff

I've forgotten to post about some of the cute things the kids have said or done. I have a spare moment to write about some funny things I was reminded of this morning.

The scene: Blake is bothering Cody.

Me: "Blake you're acting crazy. Please stop annoying Cody."

Blake: "Mom, I'm not a crazy guy."

Me: "You're not?"

Blake: "No. I'm just an old guy."

The scene: I'm talking with Blake about letters and the sounds they make.

Me: "What does your brother's name start with?"

Blake: "It's Co-te. (Cody) It start with an 'm'."

The scene: I'm asking Cody what sounds animals make.

Me: "How about.... a bird?"

Cody: "Tweet, tweet, tweet."

Me: "How about...... a frog?"

Cody: "Wibbit, wibbit, wibbit."

Me: "How about.... Buzz Lightyear?"

Cody: "Fshewwwwwwwww." (with flying gestures)

"Ow bow (How about)...... Woody?

Howdy, Howdy, Howdy!"

McKees' Garden and Pet

We took a trip to the pet store with some friends today. Blake calls it the "animal shop." They had lots of cool fish and even a monkey. I held a Shih Tzu puppy while the guy cleaned its container. And behind the store they have goats and sheep that you can feed, and a few other animals you can look at.

The most memorable animal however was a Cockatoo. He seemed pretty upset whenever we turned our back on him. He would screech as loud as a fire alarm, but add in the echo of the room, it made my heart jump. Cody was hysterical, Gwen was crying, and Blake ran out covering his ears. I tried to calm them down by downplaying the situation. I told them the bird was crying, that it was just sad. But they didn't care. It was too loud.

Dustin just got home and asked me about it so I told him basically what I wrote above, and then Cody comes up and says "Bird, loud, crying, I scared." If this means that he'll never ask us for a bird, I'm OK with letting this traumatizing experience surface every now and again.

Summer 2011

In no particular order, here are some things we've done/experienced this summer:

Moved to Pocatello (loving it by-the-way)

Gwen sleeping 12hr/night

Fix car

Blake and Cody having a blast in our back yard

Splash park in Rexburg

Swimming in Rigby Lake

Go to the Temple

Fireworks in Idaho Falls

Make train table (boys love it)

Procrastinate washing dishes by hand

Paint and distress headboard (didn't love it)

Fix car

Enjoy thunderstorms

Cody learned to say Cheetos (sounds like 'shadows')

Fix car

Install new washing machine

See a couple movies at the discount theater

Paint and distress headboard (love it this time)

Go to lots of parks (especially the one we can walk to, which I love)

Dread washing dishes by hand

Gwen learned to roll back to front, and front to back - a few weeks later

Dustin start 3 week Anatomy course

Loath washing dishes by hand

Enjoy more thunderstorms

Watch all types of fun shows with the DVR that comes with our rent

Make friends in our new ward

Visit with family that lives in Rigby and Boise

Phew... we've been the exact amount of busy to be fun, but not stressful.

It's been my most favorite summer so far because of ONE reason. I spent it with Dustin. He hasn't had a job since we moved so we've done so much together, and the kids have had lots of time with him.

Now that school has started, we wont have near as much time with him over the next 4 years. But at least we started it all with a wonderful summer.

We've taught him to pray...

Blake just tore a kinda important paper that he knew he shouldn't touch.

So I gave him that 'oh-no-you-just-didn't-do-that,-that-was-bad' look. I point to the stairs. That's our time-out spot.

He obediently goes and this is what I hear; "Dear Heavenly Father. Please make mommy be nice to me so I can be happy."

I didn't know being silent, giving a look, and pointing towards time-out was so mean.

Now I'm wondering what will happen next. Will his prayer be answered?

New Blog Name

If you haven't noticed, we changed our Blog name.

I never liked the "News from us" title. It was all I could think of at the time.

Dustin and I brainstormed for about an hour and didn't come up with anything that felt right.

Then I remembered a picture I had seen recently with the words "i love us" and that was that.

It explains our blog perfectly.

Dustin and I spend the next half hour working on the title picture (we're not very graphic savvy).

I'm very pleased with how it looks now. Please remember that we are no longer listed under "News from us". Instead look for "i love us".

C YA!

Gwen Talking

Motivation

It's one of those days.

I have to keep reminding myself that I have always wanted to be a mother. I may not have known what I was getting myself into, but I CAN handle it and WILL survive!

A friend that sells vinyl crafts is doing a giveaway on her blog and to enter the giveaway you needed to comment with one of your favorite quotes/sayings (if your comment # was chosen you would win your quote/saying as a vinyl project).

And since I have needed some motivation today, it was rejuvinating to reflect on some words that inspire me.

"No time spent on my knees in heartfelt prayer to Him is time wasted." -Unknown

"Charity is accepting someones differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn't handle something the way we might have hoped." -Marvin J. Ashton

"Self-control is requisite for progression in the Lord's eternal plan." -Unknown

"Anger is not an expression of strength." -Gordon B. Hinckley

I have needed the wisdom in each of those quotes today. I have also needed this very moment - ALL the kids are asleep, quiet music in the background, I've written out my feelings and can let go of the frustration of this morning.

Deep breath in...... and exhale....

Smile :)

Broken

The scene: a rare quiet moment with Gwen and Cody asleep, Blake reading a book, and me writing some emails.

Blake walks over to me. He puckers up, so I lean over to give him a kiss. Just before our lips touch he pulls away and puts his hands on my cheeks.

"Squishy face, mom," he says. I smile, making my cheeks and lips contort between the pressure from his hands. Blake laughs and smiles, a sparkle in his eyes. He loves this game. The next few minutes are joyful as he giggles at all the silly faces I make.

Concern washes over his face, his eyebrows knit together. "Uh-oh," he says, pointing to my eye. "Ummm... Mom... your eye is broken." Now it's my turn to smile and laugh.

He walks away as I try to explain that it's just a capillary with blood in it....it helps my eye move...everyone has them. He sends one last word over his shoulder before returning to his book, "Gross."

Postpartum life and how I'm dealing with it

So many things change with the body after delivery.

Bleeding: Unavoidable, and luckily it'll be over soon.

Night sweats: This time I was prepared! and it's over.. I think.

Jiggly belly: Hopefully will disappear after I get cleared to exercise.... and figure out what to do that will make a difference. And maybe find some time to do it.

Nursing: So much better this time. And even though it's a bit of a pain that the boys know I can't discipline them while I'm nursing, I still really enjoy it and REALLY hope I can keep producing enough to continue longer than I did with the boys.

Night feedings: What night feedings?? She's already sleeping 7 hours a night (I take a little of the credit - Babywise parenting, but mostly Gwen's just amazing). I feed her between 10 and midnight and then again between 5 and 7. As long as I'm asleep within 30 minutes of her falling asleep I get a great chunk of ZZZZ's.

Hair falling out: It hasn't started yet, but I'm expecting it. And for my incredibly thick hair, I'm not too bothered by the natural thinning. It just means I don't have to pay a stylist to use those awesome scissors.

Stretch marks: I think I may have gotten a couple new ones and made a few old ones a little bigger. I gained the most weight with Gwen's pregnancy, but she's also been my biggest baby.

But the ONE thing I am having a tough time with is how dry my face is. It has happened after all 3 of the kids. My moisturizer does fine - for 10 minutes, then it's back to dry and flaky, but thankfully not itchy. I don't have $ to spend on the REALLY good stuff. I've heard of using olive oil or baby oil, but I guess since those are only stories from people I don't know I'm skeptical. And I can't ask them questions. How much, how often, before a shower, after a shower, before make up? I don't wash my face because I've found that I break out MORE when I do. Will the oil make me break out?

Am I the only one with this postpartum problem? After I had Blake I just thought it was because it was winter and the air is drier. After Cody, I made a vague connection with being postpartum, but then also thought that with it being summer, my face was just dry because it was hot. But this time I'm SURE.

I can't remember when it stopped being so terrible and my skin returned to normal. I hope it's soon. People understand and accept a pooch and I can ignore it a little longer.

But everyone looks at faces, and I look at my face. I want it to reflect the 'me' I feel like. Even when I'm not looking mirror it's still on my mind. I can feel it, and then I think that everyone's bothered by it as much as I am. So don't look to close.

And now I'm off to snuggle my precious girl! (and brood over when her baby acne is going to go away... but then decide it doesn't matter.... and then I'll try to get her to smile again!! 6 weeks old and already smiling!)

More of Gwen

Look at that furrowed brow! Now where have I see that before? Oh yeah, my older two give that look to me every day!

Bright eyes!

Chillin' with mom. She's the only one that has cuddled with me on my chest. The boys didn't like to be held like this. I'm so glad that she does!

72 hours old and so alert!

And she's got a double chin! I think she's going to be rolly-polly after she gets the hang of this nursing thing!

Gwen Marie Van Tassell is here!

Wow, what a day! There are few feelings in the world that trump spirit that is felt at the birth of a new child. It has been emotional for both Kierstin and I, but all is well in our corner of the hospital. We called into the Birth Center this morning a little before 6:00 am to see if they had any room for an induction. Being 5 days over her due date, Kierstin was anxious to get it all over. Luckily, there was room and we were told to come on in. After arriving and filling out some paper work, we found out that the nurse helping us would be the same nurse that helped us with Blake, whom we love! After getting some vitals, the doc got the party started with cytotec. After 4 ½ hours, Kierstin was having contractions about every 3-4 minutes apart. The Dr. checked her status and she was dilated to a “good” 3 (apparently he doesn’t like to use decimal points) and was 80% effaced. The doctor broke her water at 12:34 pm and labor contractions came hard and fast.
Kierstin wanted to walk around a little bit before getting an epidural. At around 1:00 pm she decided it was time to get an epidural. We told the nurse and the anesthesiologist was called, but both had recently gone into surgeries and were going to be occupied for at least another hour. Kierstin was NOT happy, obviously, due to the increasing pain of the contractions. She was given a shot of nubain to take the edge of the contractions. It worked for about a half hour, but that was it. With each contraction, she was getting more vocal and more abusive (ie fingernails in the flesh, biting, etc). Kierstin was progressing very quickly and was feeling more pressure and she was giving up hope of an epidural. At around 3:10 pm, the nurses checked her and she was dilated to an 8-9. They decided to call Dr. Ting over from the clinic. A few moments later in a whirlwind of events, several nurses were running around, Dr. Ting showed up and out in the hall way I heard a women say “Which room is it…I’m guessing it is this one.” Apparently, the load screams and grunts gave it away to the anesthesiologist where her next patient was. The nurses put Kierstin on her side and the anesthesiologist went to work. Within 8 minutes, Kierstin had an interthecal shot. They quickly got Kierstin on her back and her feet in the stirrups. At 3:22 she began to push. Gwen’s head came out pretty quickly, causing some bruising on the face, but once the head came out, she wasn’t moving. Gwen had shoulder dystocia , but quick thinking on the part of the doctor and nurses, they got her shoulder past the pubic bone. But, in dramatic fashion, she got stuck again. Apparently her chest is larger than her head. After a few hard pushes and tugs by the doctor, Gwen came out at 3:25 pm with a healthy cry. She weighed 8 lbs, 2 oz and was 21.5 inches and has a full head of black hair.
Gwen has been named after her Great Grandmother Gwen Van Tassell who was born on February 20, 1933. I was not emotional after the birth of the two boys, but with Gwen it has been hard to keep the emotions at bay. A combination of the meaning of her name and it being our first girl really made it difficult.
Kierstin is doing great and is bouncing back quickly. She and Gwen are bonding VERY well. Hopefully this is a foreshadow of their relationship to come.

Gwen Marie Van Tassell is here!

Wow, what a day! There are few feelings in the world that trump spirit that is felt at the birth of a new child. It has been emotional for both Kierstin and I, but all is well in our corner of the hospital. We called into the Birth Center this morning a little before 6:00 am to see if they had any room for an induction. Being 5 days over her due date, Kierstin was anxious to get it all over. Luckily, there was room and we were told to come on in. After arriving and filling out some paper work, we found out that the nurse helping us would be the same nurse that helped us with Blake, whom we love! After getting some vitals, the doc got the party started with cytotec. After 4 ½ hours, Kierstin was having contractions about every 3-4 minutes apart. The Dr. checked her status and she was dilated to a “good” 3 (apparently he doesn’t like to use decimal points) and was 80% effaced. The doctor broke her water at 12:34 pm and labor contractions came hard and fast.
Kierstin wanted to walk around a little bit before getting an epidural. At around 1:00 pm she decided it was time to get an epidural. We told the nurse and the anesthesiologist was called, but both had recently gone into surgeries and were going to be occupied for at least another hour. Kierstin was NOT happy, obviously, due to the increasing pain of the contractions. She was given a shot of nubain to take the edge of the contractions. It worked for about a half hour, but that was it. With each contraction, she was getting more vocal and more abusive (ie fingernails in the flesh, biting, etc ). Kierstin was progressing very quickly and was feeling more pressure and she was giving up hope of an epidural. At around 3:10 pm, the nurses checked her and she was dilated to an 8-9. They decided to call Dr. Ting over from the clinic. A few moments later in a whirlwind of events, several nurses were running around, Dr. Ting showed up and out in the hall way I heard a women say “Which room is it…I’m guessing it is this one.” Apparently, the load screams and grunts gave it away to the anesthesiologist where her next patient was. The nurses put Kierstin on her side and the anesthesiologist went to work. Within 8 minutes, Kierstin had an interthecal shot. They quickly got Kierstin on her back and her feet in the stirrups. At 3:22 she began to push. Gwen’s head came out pretty quickly, causing some bruising on the face, but once the head came out, she wasn’t moving. Gwen had shoulder dystocia , but quick thinking on the part of the doctor and nurses, they got her shoulder past the pubic bone. But, in dramatic fashion, she got stuck again. Apparently her chest is larger than her head. After a few hard pushes and tugs by the doctor, Gwen came out at 3:25 pm with a healthy cry. She weighed 8 lbs, 2 oz and was 21.5 inches.
Gwen has been named after her Great Grandmother Gwen Van Tassell who was born on February 20, 1933. I was not emotional after the birth of the two boys, but with Gwen it has been hard to keep the emotions at bay. A combination of the meaning of her name and it being our first girl really made it difficult.
Kierstin is doing great and is bouncing back quickly. She and Gwen are bonding VERY well. Hopefully this is a foreshadow of their relationship to come.
Unfortunately the internet at the hospital is awful and will not allow me to post pictures, but when I get home I will work on that.

Big Decisions

One down, a hundred to go!

We've decided to accept the position in the IDEP. That means we'll spend the first year in Pocatello, ID and the following 3 years in Omaha, NE. We have longed for 3 years to have the opportunity to make that decision and all the others that go along with it, and looking at it now, that was probably the least difficult decision we will face.

The next step.... I don't really know. There isn't a handbook or reference guide to tell me. No one has made a PowerPoint or put together a mini lecture or course explaining where I go from here. I know that many people enter professional schools, often with spouses and sometimes with children. And I can only assume that they've been faced with all the questions I have and eventually figured it all out an forged their own path.

It wont be pleasant if I have to do it that way too. I don't know if my poor brain can handle it. It feels pretty trashed right now, and I KNOW it won't get any better after #3 arrives in a couple months.

I have a goal to have everything organized for the next year before she comes, but somehow I'm sure I'll not reach it. Not for lack of my trying to accomplish it, but because of the need for others to help me, and their help probably wont be on MY timeline.

My high expectations probably add more stress to my life than necessary.

But the lack of guidance on how to navigate the ocean of decisions I feel surrounded by is the greatest stress of all. I have no advisor to tell me what to do next, to help me stay on the right track to finish on time. Doing things out of order or not having the prerequisite knowledge will only frustrate things.

There are many people I could speak with that have either been though these same waters, or something similar. But they have all done it differently and sometimes have conflicting advice.

I want to follow the most successful plan of attack for these decisions I'm facing. I want to learn NOW what it would take years of research for someone to compile.

It's unreasonable to expect. I know... I know.

No one laid out for me what to study in school. It wasn't laid out for me who to date or marry. There has certainly been no specific path to follow as I raise my children. And I know it's unreasonable to expect that there is an organized sequence for me to follow as I make adult decisions in my future.

But I so badly want it to be!

Dental School here we come!

We have finally gotten into dental school...again! This time around I have gotten into Case Western School of Dental Medicine in Cleveland OH, Midwestern College of Dental Medicine in Glendale AZ, and the Idaho Dental Education Program which would put me in Pocatello, ID at Idaho State University for my first year and then I would go to Creighton University in Omaha, NE for my last three years of school. Each program is a very attractive, but each have their draw backs.

The IDEP/Creighton will cost me between $100,000 and $150,000 less than Case and Midwestern because I am on a scholarship from the state of Idaho. Case will cost me approximately $85,000/year while Midwestern is approximately $95,000/year.

Each school has a great clinical experience, although I would put the IDEP/Creighton above the rest. Here's why: Creighton is a well established program in a large city and the school does not have any specialty residencies at the school which means you get to see every case that walks through the door. This will allow me to see cases that I would be able to see at any of the others and will increase my competency coming out of dental school. Case Western gets you into patients' mouth by the end of your first semester which is sooner than any other program in the nation. They also have a state-of-the-art simulation clinic that allows you to work on manikins while being tracked by sensors that will give you a 3D simulation of the work you have performed, thus helping you to develop your skills using the hand piece before you even look in a patient's mouth. Despite this, I would say the overall clinical experience is not quite as good as Creighton due to many factors include the fact that Case has specialty programs that take patients away from the dental students. While talking to students at Case, each expressed a frustration with obtaining the right type of patients to fulfill their requirements; you basically have to be "buddy buddy" with the scheduling coordinator so that she will give you what you need. Midwestern waits until the beginning of your third year to get you into the clinic, but they have the best simulation clinic of the three. They push you incredibly hard in your pre-clinical simulations so that you can be ahead of the game by the time you get to you clinicals. Another thing that makes me a little worried about Midwestern's clinical experience is that it is a brand new school; their inaugural class is in their Junior year. Due to this, Midwestern still has not built community relationships and their patient base is the smallest of them all. I'm a little worried that I won't be able to see as many patients as I would be able to at the other schools.

Case Western and Midwestern have very innovative curriculums while the IDEP/Creighton has more of a traditional approach. The more innovative curriculums attract me a little more than the traditional because I think they fit my learning style a little more. Despite that, the IDEP will put me at ISU with seven other students. There are five faculty members who teach the eight of us. I have been told by the students who have gone through this program and they each say they are way ahead of their counterparts when they finish up at ISU and go over to Creighton.

As far as the living areas go, we all know Pocatello, ID is not the most desirable place to live, but it is only for a year. Omaha is nice, but it is very humid during the summer and cold during the winter. Cleveland has a very nice summer, but the winters are the worst. Cleveland is right on Lake Erie and the cold wind blowing from the lake in the winter is down right nasty! Arizona is obviously beautiful, but the summer can be unbearable with temperatures daily above 100 degrees F.! Both Kierstin and I have family in the Phoenix area which would make it nice. My parents now live in Lincoln, NE which is about 50 minutes away from Omaha. In Cleveland, we are quite far away from family. Cleveland has church history all around like Kirtland as well as a lot of US historical sites within a day's drive.

What do you all think? What school should we choose?

The (almost) end is in sight!

Tomorrow Dustin takes the DAT for the last time! It marks the last (at least for a few months) day of my single parenting stint.

I would estimate he studied 10-14 hour days for the first 8 weeks, and these last 2 have been more like 16 to 18 hour days.

He (and I) won't know what to do with the freed up time for those few days he's taking a break.

Then... get this.... he starts studying for the GRE! For 3 more weeks, it's back to the books, but not as bad we hope.

After that... well we hope to find him a job untill (cross-our-fingers) he get into a masters program and starts school.... which will include more studying!

I never cease to be amazed that Blake will be IN school before his father gets OUT of school.

I keep putting it off...

I'm good at procrastinating. And don't have any plans to change at least two things I'm procrastinating.

#1 Blogging. I really want to show everyone my cute boys. I want to share photos of my craftiness. But I've put it off for so long now that there is too much for me to do in the little time I can find during the day. It would honestly take me a few hours. I hope to do it soon, but probably wont because other things will take priority such as our latest adventure - potty training!

#2 Abs. I don't have any. And I need to get some before getting pregnant with #3. (Which won't be for a while!) But I have to HAVE them before #3 is created because being pregnant wreaks havoc with my abdominals. From there it snowballs causing alignment problems - pain - less activity - sleeping issues - and on and on.

So there are two things that probably won't get done anytime soon.

One thing that will absolutely be done (and will make me forget about the above mentioned procrastinations): Going on a walk with my two fun boys in the beautiful spring sunshine!

What a wonderful way to spend my time!

Featured Song: I'm Alive by Kenny Chesney (Featuring Dave Mathews)

Lately I have been getting back into country music after a long hiatus from the genre. We just got a radio in the lab that I work at, so the type of music that the other technician and I can agree on is country.

So, when I heard this song I quickly caught on to the guitar chords. Then, the message got me, "I'm alive and well." Then, finally when I heard Dave Mathews, I determined that this is my new song that I will listen to over and over (of course until I get tired of it or I find a new song).

Kenny Chesney had this to say about the song: "The most personal song (on the 'Greatest Hits II' album) is 'I'm Alive,' just because of where I was in my life when I wrote it ... I wrote 'I'm Alive' after my breakup with Renée [Zellweger]. I woke up one day and realized, even though I'm going through all this stuff and don't feel good about it, the outer shell of my life is really great. I'm alive; I get to make music; I've got a lot of great friends. That's the message of the song."

Right now in my life, in a way, I feel the same way. Things aren't always handy-dandy in life, but I can always be grateful that I am alive and that I have my family and faith. I hope you like the song as well.

"Mom, I doing dishes"

Had (still have) a migraine so I took a nap while Blake was asleep. I got woken up when I heard his door open. He came in my room, said "Hi mom, I awake". I love it when he's happy after a nap, but I still wasn't feeling much better so I asked him to get back in bed and close his door. He did.

I don't know how much later, but I think I unconsciously heard his door open again, so after I could walk without getting nauseous I went to find him. He was in the kitchen. "Mom, I doing dishes." Luckily Dustin had done dishes earlier and Blake was really filling up one cup and pouring water from it to another.

I love that kid.